Child's Play Revenge
by accio-ambition
Summary: Obligatory Killian-ruins-Will-and-Belle's-date-because-he-can one shot. Written before the episode aired and we realized that Rumple ruins all good things.


The bell chimes over his head, marking his entrance to the diner. It's later in the afternoon, the tail end of the lunch time rush just now dribbling in, and a quick survey of the crowd shows that she hasn't arrived yet.

However, he does spot Granny herself, bringing a plate to a customer at the counter. The old lady squints at him when she looks up, gives him a single nod of recognition, and jerks her head toward the wall of booths. Before Killian can even glance in that direction, she leaves and disappears into the kitchen.

Following the woman's indication, Killian takes a closer look at the patrons. There's one of the dwarves, Sleepy or Drunky or Angsty or whomever, passed out in one and a group of teenagers, one or two he recognizes from Henry's class, just leaving, headed to their homes to finish studying, and-

Oh.

That's what the old woman wanted him to see.

Oh ho ho, this is too good.

His old pirate mannerisms surface for a moment, vengeful grin decorating his face and thumb swiping across his chin, and he stalks and swaggers to the back of the establishment.

In the booth furthest away from the front, tucked behind the hallway to the inn, Lady Belle sits with a slice of an obscenely chocolate confectionary.

Their dynamic has changed, his and the librarian's, since the Dark One forcibly left town. She'd been reclusive at first, unable to comprehend any emotions but grief and betrayal in the wake of her heartbreak. But it was he, at Swan's behest, who'd knocked on the door of the pawnshop, broke into the library, and discovered Belle amongst the stacks, seeking comfort from her beloved books. Gently, he'd coaxed her from the floor and, in a moment surprising himself, took her into his arms and soothed her, told her she was not the treacherous one, she'd done the right thing even if it felt wrong.

And since then, with soft words and kind actions, they'd come to understand each other, even help each other to parse out the mystery of the hat. More and more often, Killian found himself asking Emma if Belle could tag along, if only to keep her from drowning once more in her sorrows. They'd both been down that rabbit hole and feared such an ingenuous being like the former Mrs. Gold, without his toughened skin or her silver tongue, would fall much harder and faster than either of them.

Their relationship had taken on the same tone as his and Liam's once was, from what he recalled, save he was now the elder sibling. They teased each other, prodded each other about mistakes and misgivings, but the moment one of the dwarves or a drunken Whale began blaming her for every bad thing within town limits, Killian was first in line to give them a piece of his mind (or hook, as it might be.)

This is why this entire situation was so savory. Her lunch companion was either going to prove to be more teasing fodder or land him in the sheriff's station for a reason other than Swan.

Across the table from her is none other than one Will Scarlet.

_She's too good for him_, Killian thinks, not for the first time since they announced their courtship. Then again, her first choice of gentleman caller was nothing but a horrendous choice.

And, though he despises to admit it, Scarlet's at least an improvement.

They're talking and she's smiling and she's been so upset for weeks, unused to having to act strong or put on a happy face for the sake of others, that anything or person who brings a grin to the lass's face is okay in this pirate's log, so long as he keeps her happy.

Naturally, though, given their new rapport, he had the right to provoke her on this subject, check Scarlet out and give him a rough time, aye? Isn't that what big brothers did?

He'd not done that nearly enough.

Straightening his spine, he waltzed up and slid in next to Scarlet until shoulder to knee touched.

"Good day, Lady Belle," he grins across the table. Belle giggles through the bite of cake in her mouth, her hand delicately covering it. Then he scowled and vaguely turned to the thief beside him. "Scarlet," he growled.

The other man looks frightened from his wits and Killian finds perverse joy in his expression.

"Hello there, Mr. Jones," Belle mutters. He can tell she has no idea what his plan is, but she's still smiling and does nothing against his terse greeting toward her date. Scarlet merely nods, his expression quickly changing from fright to subtle anger. "How are you?" she asks politely, as if something world-ending had happened in the few hours they hadn't seen each other.

Which, considering the town they were in, was highly possible.

"Quite well," Killian answers kindly and asks in the same vein, "What brings you here?"

"I was wonderin' the same thing," Scarlet brogues. When Killian glances at the thief, his shoulders are set and, while his mouth is gaping a bit and his eyes look like a startled doe, he faces him. "Wotchu doin' here?"

He's going to stand his ground, going to get angry as he himself did when Scarlet interrupted him and Emma.

Killian recognizes the stance, though it's not as radical as he'd hoped.

Scarlet's going to fight for Belle.

That's promising.

Sighing, Killian focuses across the table and gives an appropriate response to her previous question. "I came to meet Emma." And midway through his sentence, he decides to torture Scarlet further, milk the situation for all its worth. "But I rather enjoy this conversation."

He smirks, she smiles, and Scarlet groans.

"Bloody hell," Killian hears him mumble into the tabletop as he leans his head on to it.

Killian chuckles. "I think I may stay here." Gesturing over the table, he adds, "We can talk shop, Lady Belle, and discuss tactics. You know, I think I might have a lead on the whereabouts of-"

But the rest of his thoughts are masked by another echoing groan to his left.

His pleasure in bothering the other man is unbridled. It's been too long since he's stretched these muscles. But he dare not attack his friend for fear of blackmail (it's unconventional, the amount of personal information he's entrusted in a woman other than his Swan.)

Belle tilts her head to the side and sends him a look silently asking _really?_ "Mr. Jones," she chides him, "would you be so kind as to save business for the library?"

He's been found out, his scheme uncovered, but he hopes to keep it going just a bit longer, perhaps inquire about Scarlet's intentions toward Lady Belle, properly embarrass him. He opens his mouth to respectfully disobey her request, verbally jab and joust with Scarlet further, but the bell above the diner door rings once more. Killian turns enough to catch sight of flowing gold and red leather and even now, after all these weeks and years, he still finds his heart ticking faster and his grin growing wider.

"Seems like the fates agree with the lady," he comments, his focus now begging that of another woman. Standing from the booth, Killian nods to Belle and in an instant transforms from friendly reformer to menacing pirate for the sake of threatening Scarlet. The other man tries to hide his fear, but his eyes are too wide and Killian's jaw set too strong.

His message is very well received.

A hand softly slides across his back as its owner appears at his side. The gold he'd seen earlier smells of flowers with hints of chocolate and cinnamon, something he hadn't realized he'd missed until he had it back. They don't speak: he automatically winds his arm over her shoulders and she tucks herself into his side.

He can only hope that the Lady Belle feels at least a fraction of this happiness with Scarlet.

"Hi there, guys," Emma says. She's beaming, her hand resting over his chest, and he knows that beautiful smile is because of him. It nearly makes him blush. "What's up?"

"Swan," he answers before the librarian can. His Swan would not approve of him terrorizing any town member, even if it were just for fun. "We should be leaving. We're to watch the young prince, aye?"

Her brows furrow as she nods her head.

"Yes, we should be off then. Lady Belle," he inclines his head to her again, to which she nods all the same. He doesn't doubt that they will speak of this instance when they're next in the library. And, mirroring his greeting, growls out Scarlet's surname in farewell. A little flabbergasted, Emma stutters a farewell to the pair as well and allows Killian to lead her from the diner.

"I thought we were going to have lunch," she probes as they walk back to the loft, her arm threaded through his. "I psyched myself up for fries and a shake."

"Perhaps another day, love," he tells her.

"What did you do?" she asks suspiciously. His hand comes up to scratch behind his ear and at the nape of his neck.

This woman knows him too well.

He wouldn't have it any other way.

Sheepishly, he says, "I may have ruined Belle and Scarlet's date in an act of revenge and if there's one person I know I fear vengeful, it's her."

Emma moans his name and hides her face in his shoulder.

"I know, darling, I know," he assures her. "And I am sorry."

When she finally raises her head, her nose is scrunched up. "Your antics cost me a milkshake and fries," she says. "I'd rethink the whole 'fear and vengeful' thing now because you will pay."

He smiles.

Her threat is empty.

For the most part

**a/n: i am so sorry for my absence as of late. i swear, im still writing things (coughcoughShowerStreams), but im busy with school. i had hoped to finish Shower Streams on break and start posting my new mc, but i have too many papers to write and internships to apply for. i will try my best to do all of them, but im only human. until then, i hope you guys are liking 4B and ill promise you one shots for sure.**

**as always, feel free to leave a word. it couldnt hurt :) until next time, muah**


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